Unresolved

I wrote an article in December 2013 which was kind of vaguely about new year resolutions. As per tradition, I’m back two years and seven months later (?!) to try and assess how I did.

Be less like my father
I may have made some small steps on this. At least I’ve left my wife before getting a girlfriend – the other way around to how he did it. And I’ve not alienated my offspring yet either. Oh and I don’t have a bullshit consulting company of which I am the only employee.

Fix my relationship
Whoops! See above. In fairness we tried, did counselling, but could only agree that separation might help. It did – we get along much better now we’re living apart.

I mentioned the kid before – he is handling it well although he doesn’t ask about it much and either doesn’t really understand what mom and dad living in separate homes means or is internalizing it for future analysis/heartache.

Get a doctor’s finger up my ass
I never did this, but my current feeling is that my low libido was near enough 100% attributable to relationship issues. I at least played a (very small) part in bringing libido-related medical issues into the spotlight.

Organize myself better at work
I wish I could remember exactly what level my work organization was at when I wrote the original article. I’m still not happy in this area though, which is the important thing. My company is not very advanced with useful technologies plus we still have cultural problems that haven’t been addressed.

I should probably do a recounting of how things are at some point.

Get therapy
As noted, I’d already committed to this when I wrote previously. I’m not sure it helped me that much. Maybe I picked up a few things without realizing it. There was certainly no revolution in my thinking as a result of therapy.

Take more prescription drugs
Score! However, earlier this year I decided the drugs were not doing enough for me. I should have consulted my doctor, which would presumably have led to trying out another drug (as I was already on the maximum dosage of what I had) but instead I slowly came off the drugs and that was that.

I don’t know if my judgment was sound, but clearly I should have taken advice. I’m okay though – mood swings and anger management issues are just a part of life, right? I’m getting fewer anger issues now that I’ve cut out trigger activities (gaming).

Exercise more
I’ve definitely improved this, and leaving my wife has allowed me to modify my routine in ways which make exercise hard to avoid. Exercise really does make a good start to any day, just for the sense of achievement it gives.

Generally fix myself
While I may not have demonstrated it here, my mission to be nice to people is progressing. I love helping people at work, although I have days (don’t we all?) when it feels like I can never do enough and people take advantage of my need to be useful.

And in the world of online dating I’ve also tried to be nice, even when those I speak to don’t seem that interested in me or when they want what I’m not prepared to give, I try to keep up a friendly conversation and understand their motives.

Read more
I’ve had no time for fiction and I’m still struggling to keep up with online reading. Having given up gaming I’ve found more time and have started reading self-help books, but I admit it’s a discipline I struggle with. I have a few books lined up though, and maybe will come back around to fiction in time.

Write more
Another whoops, although this is not the only place I’ve been writing. This is, however, the only place I share candid stuff like this.

Finish watching “Angel”
Unsurprisingly I did that, and am currently on another round of it. Shortly before leaving my wife I actually gave up television, so now only watch DVDs (on a monitor – I don’t even own a TV) and I tend not to get into new stuff although I’ve purchased a couple of movies this year. I kind of miss the programs I was following but I also realize that my life is unaffected.

What’s actually a bit sad is how I’m seen as weird for not being interested in TV.

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One thought on “Unresolved

  1. Sherry @ Save. Spend. Splurge.

    I am sorry to hear about your separation, but it sounds like it is for the best. You might want to also have your wife read: Strong Mothers, Strong Sons .. it talks a lot about how to raise a child as a single mother with or without a father figure around. I’m reading it, and it’s quite a good book on parenting as a mother. I’m using some of it on my toddler.. 🙂

    Good luck with everything.

    Oh and both of you would enjoy reading Raising Boys (Biddulph). Excellent tome on raising.. sons.

    Reply

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